What did you learn from your parents?I’m not talking the standard how to ride a bike,blow your nose,tie your shoes…what did your mama teach you about your relationship with yourself?
I come from a house hold where my mother left her small village after finishing high school,got a glamorous job as a flight attendant.
With that she proceeded to help her siblings with getting their education,getting jobs etc…basically helping them on there feet.There was never the shortage of an uncle,aunt,or cousin living at our house that she was not putting through school,taking care of…being concerned about.In all this…she did not learn to look after herself.
Sure she looked good,bought herself things…sometimes….but I think she was ridden with guilt.She was always doing for someone else, and not enough for herself because she had so many people counting on her, so many people to please,their happiness was riding on her shoulders.
She learnt to put others before her.This is a good thing..but it becomes bad..when you forget yourself.
I have personally experienced this in my life, I get so stressed out about how happy everyone around me is, making sure they are okay, fixing their problems, making suggestions….
I knew I was doing it but I didn’t know why,even with having my family here they described me as team leader, because I am so concerned about ‘Are you happy?’ ‘What can I do to make this experience better for you?’
I have had some ‘friends’ say some nasty things about me and the way I was acting. I was called a ‘mother hen’, I was told at one event ‘I was mad because I was acting like a man by taking care of everyone’
I didn’t know better though, this is what my home life had taught me. From observing my mother I learnt that going the extra mile for people was how I showed them that I really cared.
I realise now that it is not the way.
Its not the way.
Its not the way.