I spent Saturday afternoon with a friend I had not seen in a long time.It was great to laugh and drive around in her land rover…I love land rovers 🙂
I had not seen her in a long time because she had a boyfriend.
Her boyfriend was a nice enough guy but quite manipulative.
Her friendships with people he did not like automatically fell away just so she could keep the peace.She said that she realised that she had changed so much of herself to make this relationship work.
Unfortunately for him and fortunately for her the relationship is over just before they were to get married!She has never been happier!
I remember inviting her months ago to have dinner with some of my other girlfriends and I, she came ,but she didn’t stay long,she told me she just needed to rush to the house but she would be back….she left and we waited a long long while for her,she never came back…looking back it might have been him that summoned her.
It is not like her to lie and say she will be back.
She is more of the on point type that will blatantly say
‘I don’t want to come’ or ‘Lets get out of here before I shoot someone’.
Talking to her and getting my friend back was so great.
It totally reminded me about being honest with oneself,and she cemented this as well by saying
‘I saw the red flags,I knew all along that there were a lot of things wrong in the relationship but I wanted it to work,I molded myself into the person who wanted me to be,and lost myself in the process’
I’m not saying he is a bad person..in fact it was her decision go along with everything,
for abandoning her friends, for compromising herself,her beliefs,etc and this obviously happened because she loved him
An honest relationship with oneself would have prevented some of the issues that they had,maybe she would have left the relationship earlier,or maybe they would have made it work even better to where they were both heard.
He also has needs,thoughts, wants and issues.Maybe that is why he handles the relationship the way he did.
If both had been really honest with themselves,seen the warnings,handled them and dealt with them as soon as possible,I’d be buying my dress for the wedding,or would have been hanging with my friend sooner.This is all my own opinion anyway 🙂
In all fairness it is also a good thing that this lesson has been learned.It is only through these experiences that she has come to learn that she needs to love and listen to herself more closely.We learn from everything,experience is the best teacher.
Letting go and realising when to let go is a hard thing,but I’m learning that it gets easier and the rewards for letting go of things that weigh you down opens you up to so much more than you could ever imagine.One step at a time.