The long haul flight was not so full, so anyone could sit next to whomever they wanted to.
She squished more comfortably into her chair, alone. She was flying solo.
She heard giggles across the aisle, she looked up. The giggles made her heart bubble.
The nonchalance of the two sisters as they sat there and munched on their chewy candy intrigued her,it reminded her of her relationship with her sister and also of how much she missed being a teenager who did not care at all what people thought.
The way they laughed and giggled without a care in the world …….. they weren’t young teens either.
They were at least seventeen, already young women navigating their way through the candy without fear of it affecting their hips.
They seemed so in touch with their authentic feelings and spoke them on a whim and the world seems to favour those that do…..she wanted to be like that again though she didn’t know how without hurting people’s feelings ,there was something about speaking up about your own mess and thoughts that put people on edge.
She didn’t mean in a selfish ‘I don’t care’ middle finger in the air sort of selfishness.
But the kind where she spoke up when uncomfortable, or refusing to do something that jeopardized her integrity and she knew it ,or left her feeling emotionally raped.
That was the only way she could describe it, the raw feeling of her emotions every time she said yes to something she knew in her soul she knew she did not want to do.