Remember when you threw your head back in uninhibited laughter, wiping your eyes as you cried because it was so funny?
Remember when you went places enthusiastically, even when no one went with you because you were genuinely interested and had to experience it for yourself?
Remember when you didn’t have to use phrases like ‘No new friends’ or like social media posts that said ‘Just doing me, staying on my hustle and taking only myself to the top’ or cutting people off left right and centre because they have the wrong ‘energy’? (Writing this sentence was so exhausting for me! eye roll)
Remember when your soul was still and content, and you lived happily, you got on with your friends, and slept like a baby at night …(okay so maybe your parents were annoying but..)
When you did things that made your soul sing and not at the expense of others?
I remember them clearly and I am on the righteous quest to be that way again!
This corrosion of the soul .. sigh …..I felt through most of 2016.
Smile, attend the event, laugh at the appropriate times, take the blow, not speaking up for myself because it’s rude, be rude because you think you’re being real but instead hurting someone…. on and on.. the exhausting cycle. I was expending energy and now I am spent.
Wore myself out!
Like Lenny Kravitz so lovingly crooned in my ear
‘Baby it ain’t over till its over’
Let’s get it!
1.Do the things you did when you felt you were the most yourself – wander those bookstores alone, try out a new cake recipe, or call that friend that knows those stories from back in the day.I listened to a lot of Lenny Kravitz back in the day and brought him back in my life. (I’m sorry Lenny I will never let you go again! ) I mean who could ever forget that song ‘Again’.. wait you did? hold up, here you go!
2. Ask for a time out – Tell your friends you’re working on yourself and you need a time out. YOU NEED A TIME OUT! You’re probably being a shitty friend with all of your flaking and not picking up calls. They will be there when you are ready again. You want to let them know that you are having a hard tie and need some time to yourself because disappearing and reappearing out of nowhere, expecting them to embrace you, is weird.
You essentially abandoned them and now.. you just want to act like nothing happened? (Another golden Lenny track.)
(Another golden Lenny track.)
3. Do you, but be careful not to slide too far away – The time alone will feel so good. Your soul is recuperating. You’re liking yourself again, you’ve finally subscribed to the New Yorker (LIFE CHANGING!) ….. but don’t overdo it. Meet someone for a coffee once in a while. Go to a movie with the family.Realise that you still need people, and they still need you. Ask someone to watch you and make sure you’re not becoming a recluse and emerge five years from now, frothing at the mouth.(A symptom of depression is wanting to be alone because you feel people don’t understand you.Be careful of this!)
Does this sound like when you were 16? When you had no bills, and the most important thing was Friday rolling around because there was no school?
That’s one thing that hasn’t changed, you still wait for Friday to roll around, and maybe… just maybe some of the soul calming things you did back then, are things you need to do again.
I am feeling like myself again.Loving Lenny Kravitz almost with the ferocity I did at 16.
Loving Lenny Kravitz almost with the ferocity I did at 16.
Baby, it ain’t over till its over.