My earlier post about when I was happiest….really just shows that for the longest time I have tied my identity, who I am…to what title I have…to what I do professionally, what my credentials are.
Is that who I really am?
Am I less of a person without that MD?
It’s interesting that when someone is asked who are you the answer most of the time is..I’m an engineer, I’m a nurse.
Who are you? Who am I? How do I answer that question?
I’m not so much looking for the sort of answer…you know like…’I am light’ or ‘I am free’ ..?
Is that how that question is to be answered?
I am free, I am happy,but…what exactly do I say?
Do I just list the attributes of what I am?
I am a lot of things.
I like to think I’m funny, spirited yet totally cool a lot of the times…this is not some kooky new age lets find out who we are type of thing…
I just found out today that I had tied so much of who I am to whether I became a doctor or not.
Felt a lot of shame because I did not go to medical school and my self-worth was tied in so much to it that I have suffered such low self-esteem with that.
You could have mopped the floor with me and I would have smiled at you gratefully.
Now..my self-esteem is no longer tied to my credentials,how much money I have, who my friends are and what face wash I use (don’t act like you don’t know the face wash mob!)
I’m now free of the shackles of shame, free of the shackles of expectations, free to be me.
(The me that still wishes on a shooting star, reads magazines back to front and eats my cornflakes with warm milk, and I frequently ingest large amounts of peanut butter.)
Sometimes you got to take the shackles off and walk with your head held high.
Your profession will not guarantee your happiness, it will make you happier to fulfill your dreams and purpose, but do not be yoked to what you think it will make you.
For you already are…it is just the manifestation of who you are.
It may change, but being fundamentally you is all that matters.
hugs you love bugs!