Trying to fit in..
trying to fit my round bottom into a square hole..which is a tad small..(quickly shift away from the round bottom)…just hurts. Trying to fit in..
Striving to fit in, to be a part of the pack, to be as cool..or as nonchalant..or as funny with THAT type of humour.
News flash…you won’t. You will not fit in.
You will, however, dim your light, you will shift your bottom this way and that to fit,
You will deny yourself over and over again to please, you will chip away at bits of your soul for 5 seconds of acceptance.
The people you are trying to fit in with also know you do not fit in but perhaps they are finding it amusing to watch you?
You’re not accepted..you’re entertainment.
You know how you know you are trying to fit in?
The more you do with those people the emptier you feel.
The more you do the less you are, less and less approval from them…..more and more self-judgement.
An honest conversation with a long time friend who does not mince words brought me crashing back down to earth.
For her I am thankful. The important thing is .. I was also at a place where I was ready to listen, to her..and to myself.
I was hungry for a new..and maybe some of the old..of me.
Sometimes when you need something, you can only get it from yourself.