I noticed myself smiling like a goofball as I walked down the streets of Itaewon yet again. I was in Seoul again. The city that is in my top 5 cities to live in. ( One day!)
I was smiling because my belly was obviously full of good Korean food, I could hear Kpop being blasted from a speaker as I walked past Hamilton hotel yet again. I was dressed in a way that would be considered too….flashy for Berlin ( Berlin is über laid back darling, you must not try too hard, must be vintage, must be different but … don’t try too hard dahling). My blue mini skirt with its flashy jewels, my trusty brogues ( wore them everywhere!) and my gorgeous lip tint. I was feeling alive. I was feeling.. like myself.
I didn’t care one bit that I stood out with my long blonde braids and my chocolate skin, the big grin on my face making others smile at me too. I was not trying to be anything else.
When had I started to become someone else?
Honestly, I don’t remember. I was not actively trying to be someone else, I just did things that were considered ‘normal’. It’s normal/easy to wear black because.. it goes with everything, makes you look slimmer, and makes you look put together. It’s easy to do things the way the are done where you live because that’s just the way things are done, BUT do those things reflect who you really are? or what you believe in?
Who I am is changing everyday Twaambo, isn’t it the same for you?
I’m sure I am changing every day, but I only realise who I have become after a long while.
I bring up clothing because the way we dress is very often indicative of how we feel inside. We are either expressing what we believe we are, or what we hope to be.The way an artist’s emotions can evoke sensational colours on a canvas in a peaceful or chaotic way is the same way our inner selves show on the outside.
I felt a deep sense of satisfaction knowing that I had accepted myself, sequins and all, and was loving that moment. As I write this, my feet are adorned in pink polka dotted socks because deep inside I’m an incorrigible princess and now fully accept this.
A question I intend on asking myself a lot this coming year is and hope you do the same is:
How can you be the real you this time around?
In your work, in your relationship and most importantly with yourself.