Here is a challenge..listen to yourself as you speak during the day. What words are you usin to describe your situation and your life?
What is it that you are saying about yourself? About your life? About your family?
How many of these phrases have you heard?
‘I’ll probably never get married and die alone’
‘nah,I’ll never make it’
‘I’m so stupid’
‘I’m such a fat a§%’
Why are you saying these things about yourself?!
‘BECAUSE THEY ARE TRUE!’ you might scream back.
Are you saying it because it is true?or is it true because you are saying it?
How is it making you feel anyway, to keep talking about your large behind?
You think its what people are thinking but they are thinking that because you say it all the time.About never getting married and dying alone….you’re probably scaring a potential partner,who wants to marry a lonely sad old man…or woman anyway….you’re not offering up any exciting information about who you are,what you’re looking forward to,what your plans are.
Who wants to be the person to be the sole bringer of happiness into the situation?
Sometimes you may be saying things so that other people can say ‘no really you’re not that fat’ ‘You’ll find someone’ ‘You’re smarter than you think’..its really great to receive affirmation from an outside source.
Sometimes the outside source may get really irritated from affirming you all the time,or may have become conditioned to just telling you all these nice things because they know you just want to hear them,or *yawn * just not to have this conversation again.
Why are you saying those things?
Now…on the flip side,I’m not advocating you claim to weigh so much less than you really do,or claim to be in a relationship with an imaginary person ( that’s a whole ‘nother blog post)..but speak to yourself kindly,speak about yourself kindly.
‘I’m not dating anyone right now but I’m looking forward to meeting someone nice’ ….when I hear words like these I hear a person that is nice, is not unhappy about being alone BUT is looking forward to being with someone as opposed to bitter old ‘I’m going to die alone’
How about ‘I made a mistake and should do better next time’ as opposed to ‘I’m stupid’
I have to work on this everyday,keeping a guard on my mouth,saying good things about myself..(I’m really trying,I do slip and bemoan the 3 kilo’s I’m trying to lose) when I slip I rectify that situation by taking back what I said and saying something good about it (‘I have 3 kilos to lose and I am working on it.I am healthy and I’m more conscious about what I’m eating’)
Speak to yourself about who and what you want to become.
Yes its easier to talk trash about yourself and others.It is really really easy.Trash talk goes on everyday!
How is that workin for ya then?